Disaster averted

February 10, 2012 at 3:07 pm 4 comments

Those who have read this blog for a while will maybe remember about a year ago I wrote about a particularly awful incident that happened to me while doing mile repeats at the Goucher College track. Running-wise, I felt great that day. Strong, smooth, crushing my workout. Unfortunately an hour or so before I decided to head to the track, I ate some leftover spicy quesadilla. MISTAKE! The short of it was that I did two full mile repeats and the third one was cut to a 1200 as I was sprinting down the homestretch directly to the track-side port-a-potty. I didn’t make it. It was the first time I had run so hard, I’d crapped myself. Not bad, but enough to make me bag the rest of the workout. I’ve had a number of close calls and near misses before and since. Until last night, they had all been directly related to Mexican food consumption combined with track workouts.

Last night was different. Originally I HAD planned on doing a baby workout, just to get my legs moving faster than the slow slog I’ve been doing 99% of the time. OF COURSE, by yesterday afternoon I was running to the bathroom every half hour or so. UGH. To make it worse, I hadn’t even eaten anything particularly delicious (or spicy) the night before. My GI system just decided to hate me. I amended plans and headed to Duke’s East Campus loop. Only a little over a mile and a half, and with a Whole Foods across the street from the where I was starting, just in case anything went awry.

Things DID go awry. I didn’t notice it on the first loop. But by the mid-point of the second, I was feeling some distress. Stupidly, I went on for another loop instead of heading to the bathroom. Halfway through the third loop I was in emergency mode and I still had about a half mile at minimum to go before I could get the Whole Foods bathroom. I cursed myself for not having the forethought to bring some toilet paper, as at least then I could have ducked behind one of the big bushes dotting the loop. Instead I trundled on as some dude came flying past me. This will be important in a second. With about a quarter mile to go I honestly thought, “Goddammit I’m going to shit myself right here.” I didn’t. I slowed it down and waddled across the street. I was trying to find a balance between moving fast enough so as to get to toilet ASAP while going slow enough to not cause a second catastrophe. As I got to the door, I noticed the runner guy who had gone flying by me minutes earlier entering the bathroom. And as I entered the bathroom I heard him narrowly missing a catastrophe of his own. I chuckled to myself, “THAT’S why he was flying. I empathize.” My empathy was short-lived, as I realized there was only ONE toilet! I briefly considered going to the women’s room. I briefly considered crapping in the urinal. Or the sink. I didn’t. I beared down; not moving made the problem much less dire. Finally I had managed to get in there.

I went back out and jogged another 8ish miles, my stomach somewhat less of an issue but still VERY uncomfortable. It seems I must have just caught some sort of stomach bug. Occupational hazard of working with 300+ children on a daily basis. I had other thoughts I thought I wanted to write about on my morning run the other day, but I forgot them.

Til next time, RUN HAPPY (and with some toilet paper in your pocket) everyone!

Entry filed under: Uncategorized. Tags: .

Weekly recap 1/30 – 2/5 (and some introspective musings) Weekly recap 2/6 – 12 and whatever

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Rebecca  |  February 10, 2012 at 6:53 pm

    Bwahhhhhaaaaa, this post is so awesome. I think we’ve all been there…

    I’m proud to say that I’ve been a runner for 17 years and *never* had an accident! There have been some very close calls, including a half marathon I did this year. Nothing like 6 minutes worth of bathroom breaks to ruin a PR attempt. LOL.

    Have you read Sage Canaday’s book? There’s some funny stuff about having to poo on the run in it.

    • 2. runningmanz  |  February 10, 2012 at 7:06 pm

      If you’re seriously considering getting more into ultras, you’re almost definitely going to be confronted with this more and more ;)

      I should have waited until AFTER my run this afternoon to write this. Ended up taking a crap in the woods at mile 5. At least I had toilet paper this time!

      I haven’t read the book but I will make a point to do so!

  • 3. Dan Miranda  |  February 11, 2012 at 10:38 pm

    Well, I’m glad that you are man enough to post your incident on your blog! I’ll admit to my own a few weeks back (which is not on my blog). It was an early morning 7 miler (at about 4:45AM). I was in Druid Hill Park over by the mansion on top of the big hill. At that very moment, it was over and I had to crap right then and there. With no bathrooms in sight and my apartment over 2 miles away, I utilized a tree that was basically in the open.

    Since it was about 5:15AM, there was thankfully no one around. I had no toilet paper with me either, just had to run back as is. Should have taken care of it BEFORE I went out…

    This is why I have tried to avoid running early mornings immediately after waking up, my bowels seem to wake up a few miles into runs.

    • 4. runningmanz  |  February 11, 2012 at 10:42 pm

      This, exactly. It seems inevitable that if I don’t go when I wake up, I will HAVE to go about two miles in. I’ve learned to wake up AT LEAST an hour before a race. Not sure what I’m gonna do during 24 hour races later this year. I guess I’ll have to factor that into my plans.


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